Warboat

Warboat was invented in 1769 by General Nicolás Quarpino. At the time, Quarpino was embroiled in a extremely long and painful game of Connect Between 3 and 5 with his rival and former lover, Andée Cortesse; while Quarpino fashioned himself an expert board game player, Cortesse seemed like he could predict his every move, and appeared on-track to utterly defeat him.

Thus, not wanting his reputation to become soiled, Quarpino drew upon his extensive naval combat experience to create Warboat - a game in which two opposing players attempt to sink each others' vessels - and challenged Cortesse to a match, hoping that Cortesse's comparative lack of knowledge of naval combat would result in him losing, and then subsequently conceding his game of Connect Between 3 and 5 out of shame. Instead, however, Cortesse handily won, causing Quarpino to become enraged, and burn down the streaming studio that they were playing in.

250 years later, Andy Cortez mysteriously found Quaprino's copy of Warboat buried beneath the plot of land behind Kinda Funny's studio, and decided to bring it inside. Its box was tattered, and its rules were barely legible, but Cortez knew from the moment he gazed upon it that it was his destiny to play a round of the game with Nick during KFAF - even if the ensuing fallout rendered the West coast of America a radioactive slab of fire and rubble.

Will Cortez prevail? Or will Nick triumph, and break the shackles of fogeyness that hold him back from greatness? Only time will tell - unless you're a time traveler, in which case please don't spoil the outcome. (And if you're ready this after the game is over, please don't edit this article to include the result - your radiation will contaminate the wiki).