Andy's Relationship with Pop-Tarts

We all know that Andy Cortez loves pop-tarts - but what isn't well know is why it is that the Hispanic Heartthrob holds them like he's some sort of alien that's still acclimatizing himself to human culture, as seen in the image included in this article. The answer, as usual lies deep in Andy's past: for you see, back during his time working for the RGVPD, Andy was assigned to take down Mama Dulzura, a tier-9 Gastronomy Witch that could magic fructose-rich desserts into becoming poisonous. While the battle that they engaged in was fierce, Andy was able to get the upper hand on Dulzura in the end, and put a permanent end to her sweet machinations - but not before Dulzura cursed Cortez so that every subsequent pop-tart he held for more than five seconds would come alive, Gingerbread Man-style, and torment him.

As a result, from that day onward, Andy was very careful to always tear apart every pop-tart he was handed into multiple, smaller fragments, and keep said fragments as far apart from each other within his hands, in order to prevent them from re-merging and wrecking havoc. This habit has caused both his co-workers and the Kinda Funny reddit endless bewilderment, but Andy knows that it's for the best; the last time that he let a pop-tart come alive, the pop-tart in question locked him in his parents' freezer, logged into his laptop, and then proceeded to click on every single ad on Pornhub. It was a truly terrible day - though after this incident, Andy was justifiably left wondering whether Nick was also one of these cursed pop-tarts in disguise.