All Sorts of Sports With Andy Cortez

All Sorts of Sports With Andy Cortez was originally created by Andy so that he could annoy the hell out of Nick on the Morning Show with its intro video, which most scientists today estimate was at least 56.4 hours long. After this intro video was shown for the first time, however, the long and bizarre combination of words and mouth noises featured in it inadvertently activated a dozen sleeper agents that had previously been planted in the United States during the Cold War, and made them go on a short-lived rampage. Short-lived, because most of these sleeper agents were by this point in their 60s and 70s, and were quickly subdued after enough millenials yelled "OK, Boomer" at them.

Following this, the United States government contacted Kinda Funny, and requested that they play the All Sorts of Sports intro as often as possible on the Morning Show, hoping that doing so would continue to uproot more and more Sleeper Agents. While Nick was initially vehemently opposed to this idea, he was ultimately convinced to do so after Andy promised to only talk about sports for 15 seconds after the intro ended (a promise that of course, Andy never actually respected).

The All Sorts of Sports intro was eventually retired after it unexpectedly morphed into the Anti-Life Equation, and started turning 50% of everyone that saw it into Darkseid's slaves. While Shirtless Canadian Batman was able to quickly reverse most of the damage that the video had caused, it was agreed afterwards that it needed to be utterly destroyed, and was subsequently hurled by Shirtless British Superman into the nearest black hole.